I’ve tried a few times over the past few days to write this post but when it comes to the topic of love, I find it hard to write about so here are some of my thoughts I have about the word.
1. It’s Conditional.
Everyone dreams of a love that is unconditional, but I don’t believe a love such as this exists within the reach of human beings. I’m not getting spiritual or religious here but I cannot believe that an unconditional love between two people can truly exist. People fall in and out of love on a daily basis, friends become enemies or distant from a fight or other circumstances, families can fall apart in a matter of months from quarreling.
I know I’m only 24 but I’ve both experienced and observed so many instances where these things occur that it makes me doubt the idea of unconditional love between two people. Things occur that are difficult to forgive, let alone forget and this causes a gap in the relationship where the same level of love is no longer there.
2. It Comes & Goes
A lot of what I’m saying may come across as depressing, but I’m just expressing what I see as truth in my world. They say that nothing lasts forever and I believe the same thing can be said about love. Now I’m not just talking about romantic love for this post. A love between friends who grew close over the years and then one day look around and realize they went from close to acquaintance happens a lot in my own opinion. I believe it’s just a part of the human experience.
I have however on a more positive note come to realize that just because that love in a friendship has come and gone, does not mean it’s the end of the world. You know the old saying that when God closes a door it’s so He can open another one? Well that’s exactly what I believe happens in situations like this. One person plays a role in your life for a season and when that season comes to an end, another person or people can enter into your life whereas before they might not have gotten a chance to do so.
3. It Requires Trust.
I’ll be blunt here. I have trust issues all over the place, especially in regards to allowing people in. Something in me is telling me to trust no one, but what type of life would that be if I listened? I’d be a crazy, friendless and lonely cat lady by the time I hit 25. Trust is one of the most difficult things we as humans have to learn to do. From past mistakes we tend to not want to trust anyone from there on out; yet when you think about that, isn’t it completely unfair to place the blame on someone who was not even part of the reason your walls were built?
Here’s what I’ve learned about trust (a point inside a point?! You betcha!)
a) it takes time. It’s dangerous to be an open book all at once; normal people aren’t going to stick around for long if your way of trust is to throw your whole life at them in one conversation (unless it’s someone you’re paying.. but even then..)
b) it’s scary. There’s always that risk where the person you believe you can trust will turn out to use your words against you, spread rumors about you and so on.
c) It makes relationships more fulfilling. Being able to trust someone is key to a relationship (once again in my opinion). Trusting someone enough to discuss whatever is a way of giving them a piece of your heart even without saying those exact words.
I genuinely believe we’re all capable of love; however it may not and probably won’t be a Romeo & Juliet love or Tony & Maria type of love (because we all know how those 2 stories end… dun dun!). So to end this, I’ll leave you with one last point:
4) To love is to be alive
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”